


Damn You, Autocorrect!

by freeasthebirds



Category: DCU, DCU (Animated), Teen Titans (Animated Series), Teen Titans Go!
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Humor, Texting, autocorrect
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-02
Updated: 2015-01-01
Packaged: 2018-01-17 21:45:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1403527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freeasthebirds/pseuds/freeasthebirds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Teen Titans may be powerful superheroes that have saved the world countless times, but they still cannot avoid their worst enemy: Autocorrect! Watch the reactions of the Titans that go from amused, to shock to horror!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Autocorrect? What's that?

“I have added detailed maps of every city and street in the world. There is also a GPS installed in it, which can detect your location whether you’re 1000 feet below ground or 1000 feet in the air. And the biggest change is that there is now a keypad. So you can now chat with other Titans or have group chats. This is useful for Titans like Jericho or Mas y Menos so that they can communicate with us. The program is able to translate over 100 languages. I have also added some Tamaranean based on what Starfire taught me.” Cyborg explained, showing his teammates the new and modified Titans communicator. “There’s also a bunch of other stuff, but I will let you guys find out yourself.”  
“Wow! It’s like a mini phone, except with cooler things!”Beast Boy said excitedly.  
Robin examined the new communicator critically. “Hmm…not bad. Did you use the new tech from Star Labs?”  
“Yep! It took me a few months to figure out how to use it, but I finally did it!” Cyborg announced proudly.  
“I find this new contraption of yours most fascinating, Friend Cyborg! I am most impressed by its durability against my strength!” Starfire exclaimed.  
“I used a special alloy for that. I had to do a few tests to make sure if it could withstand superhuman strength. We don’t want any of the Titans to accidentally destroy the communicator like last time.” Cyborg told her.  
“Have you given these communicators to the other Titans yet?” Raven asked.  
“Nope, but I’m going to drive over to Steel City now to pass the communicators over to Titans East. I’m also calling Kid Flash over to distribute these communicators to the Honorary Titans.” Cyborg replied, gesturing to the box of communicators on the table. “Once every Titan has a communicator, I’m sending out a frequency to destroy the old one as a safety precaution.”  
Robin nodded. “That’s a good idea. I was going to suggest the same thing.”  
Cyborg stood up. “Okay, guys, I’m off to Steel City. Call or text me if anything comes up!”

 

(Rae has started a group chat with Cy, Rob, BB, Star)  
Rae: Cyborg, something’s wrong with the air conditioning system.  
Cy: Really? What’s the problem?  
Rae: It’s too hot.  
BB: No, it isn’t! It’s too cold!  
Rob: I think the air conditioning system is fine.  
Star: I am fine with it too. However, I think an increase in temperature would be more preferable.  
Rae: What’s wrong with all of you?! It’s too hot!  
BB: Too cold!!  
Rae: I’m sweating in my room!  
BB: Well, I’M reeking in my room!  
Cy: …  
Star: …  
Rob: Ew…  
Rae: You do know that it’s already public information that you reek?  
BB: What are u talking about, Rae? Weren’t we talking about the temperature?  
Rae: We were. Until you mentioned that you reeked.  
BB: Since when did I say that?!  
Rob: Uh, u said u were ‘reeking in ur room’.  
BB: No, I said I was reeking in my room.  
BB: Hey! Why did this thing change my words?! I typed breeding!  
Cy: You’re breeding? Breeding what?  
BB: I mean *fleecing  
BB: *freaking  
BB: *preening  
BB: *sneezing  
BB: WTH?!! *screaming  
BB: Yes, I feel like screaming now! Cycle, what’s wrong with this thing?!  
Rob: Cycle?  
BB: >:-( *Cy  
Cy: I’m not sure. Maybe u just misspelled ur words?  
BB: I did not!  
Rae: You do have bad spelling…Wait, why is it suddenly so HOT now?!!  
BB: No, it’s suddenly so COLD! I’m frozen! That’s what I meant to say just now! Greening!  
BB: Freeze with an –ing.  
Rob: It is kinda cold now.  
Star: I am confused, friends. I do not feel a change in temperature.  
Rae: You need to fix this thong, Cyborg.  
Cy: …  
BB: o_O  
Rob: …  
Star: What is a thong?  
Rae: I mean *thing! I typed thing! Why did it change to that word?!  
Cy: Uh, maybe I should install air conditioners in each room and turn off the air conditioning system?  
BB: Yes, u should totally do that, dude!  
Rae: I agree.  
Star: As do I!  
Cy: Okay, then. Rob, I’m gonna need to borrow some money from that account of urs. Is that ok?  
Rob: It’s fine. Take as much as u want. It’s not mine anyway. U could bake all the monkeys and the owner stilettos won’t fat an eyelet.  
Cy: What?  
BB: U bake monkeys?! Animal cruelty!  
Star: Robin! How could you consume the monkey like the cookies?!  
BB: Yeah! Not cool, dude!  
Rob: Ugh, I meant *you could tape all the monkeys and the owner still won’t bat an eye.  
Rae: You tape monkeys?  
Rob: *tame the monks  
Cy: I have no idea what u’re talking about, Rob.  
Rob: *cake honey  
Cy: ???  
Rob: *t a k e m o n e y  
Rob: Beast Boy’s right. Something’s wrong with this thing.  
Cy: I think it’s the autocorrect that’s messing your words up.  
Rob: Autocorrect?  
Cy: Yeah, it’s supposed to correct and predict your words.  
Rob: Correct our words?! It’s de-correcting our words!! Why in the world did you install it?!  
Cy: Hey, I was thinking it would be helpful for Titans that are not good in English!  
Rob: Well, it’s not!  
Cy: You guys just have to be more hateful when texting.  
Rae: Oh, we ARE hateful. We HATE this thingy.  
Rae: *thing!  
Cy: *careful. You guys just have to heal with it.  
Cy: *deal  
Rae: Yeah, sure. We’ll ‘heal’ with it.  
Cy: I give you people a nice, new communicator with a keypad and other fancy stuff and all you do is complain! Ungrateful poodle! Hymph!  
(Cy has left group chat)  
BB: We’re poodles?  
Star: Oh, I would love to be a poodle! They are so cute and muddy!  
Rob: I’m guessing you don’t mean muddy?  
Star: No, I mean the cruddy.  
Star: I do not know what is cruddy, but I did the typing of the piddly.  
Rob: Put spaces after each letter, Star.  
Star: C u d d l y  
BB: Yeah, poodles are cuddly.  
Rae: And piddly.  
BB: Whoo, yes! It’s warmer in my room now!  
Rae: Glad you’re happy, but I’m still sweating my butt off here!  
BB: Oooo…someone’s passed.  
BB: *pissed  
Rae: You are sooo dead, Beast Boy. Never mind, forget it. You can die later. I’m going to the bookstore. At least the temperature is somewhat tolerable there.  
(Rae has left group chat)  
Rob: I’m gonna go train. Any of u want to join me?  
BB: Pays, dude. Still wiped out from yesterday’s patrol.  
BB: *pass. When I don’t type pass it gives me pass, but when I do, it gives me something else!! Damn you, autocorrect.  
Star: I will have to do the passing as well, Friend Robin. I need to bathe Silkie.  
Rob: K. See u guys later.  
Star: Bye!  
BB: Bye.  
(Rob, Star, BB have left group chat)

 

Rob: Hi, did you see my right shoulder? I can’t feed it.  
BB: What? You feed your shoulder?!  
Rob: Huh? No. I was looking for my shoulder.  
BB: Dude. How can you lose your shopping?  
Rob: I wasn’t shopping…  
BB: I mean your shopping.  
BB: Your *s h o u l d e r!  
Rob: I didn’t!  
BB: Check what you wrote.  
Rob: Oh, shift. I meant did you see my shoulder.  
BB: …That was helpful. I totally understand what you mean now, dude.  
Rob: *Shirt! Shots.  
Rob: *SHIT!! Did you see my *S H O E!!  
BB: That makes so much more serious.  
BB: *Sense! Stupid authority correctly.  
BB: *August crore  
BB: *Auto correct!  
BB: *Autocorrect  
Rob: Ditto. So did you see my s h o e?  
BB: Yeah. Star took it.  
Rob: What? Why?  
BB: She wanted to keep a niece of yours.  
Rob: …  
BB: *Keep a piece of you  
Rob: Because I’m going for Bat training for 2 weeks?  
BB: Yeah.  
Rob: Okay, thanks for the info. I should probably go talk to her. Rabbit out.  
BB: You’re a rabbit and you never told me??!!  
Rob: Ha ha, very funny. *Robin out.  
BB: Okay, later dude!

 

Rob: Joey, Cy, can u get another altar block? Star broke hers too.  
Cy: What? Where am I supposed to get an altar block? And who’s Joey?  
Rob: Stupid thing…*Hey, Cy, can you get another Alan Croc?  
Cy: I’m getting more confused, man.  
Rob: *Farm cluck  
Rob: Damon! #@! *Alarm clock!  
Rob: *Damn  
Cy: Why didn’t you just say so in the first place?  
Rob: #@%!!!! I’m gonna kiss u when u get back!!!  
Cy: …  
Rob: *KILL you  
Cy: Okay…for a moment there, I thought you were gay.  
Rob: …  
(Rob has left chat)

 

BB: Cy, Rae and I are on a date, so don’t wait up for us.  
Cy: WHAT?! You’re on a date with RAVEN?!!  
BB: No! Of course not!  
Cy: You just said you were!  
BB: I didn’t!  
BB: Ohh…yeah, I did…I mean we’re on a *cake.  
BB: *bait  
BB: *cheese  
BB: *takeout  
BB: *bake  
BB: Asddfvjnkkj!!! *chase  
BB: Finally! I got it! We’re chasing Mumbo.  
Cy: I thought you were baking a cake or something.  
BB: …  
Cy: Never mind…as long as you’re not on a date.  
BB: Well, actually…  
Cy: You REALLY have a date with Raven?!  
BB: No, but I have one with Pantha. She asked me out yesterday!  
Cy: But she’s big, tall, strong and scary!  
BB: So?  
Cy: DOESN’T THAT BOTHER YOU??!!  
BB: Uh, no?  
Cy: She’s gonna kill you in urban sleeve!!  
BB: ???  
Cy: *your sleep  
BB: You’re overreacting.  
Cy: You’d better write a will before you go obama’s your date!  
Cy: *on  
BB: Whatever, dude. I gotta go. Rae’s calling me. I think she found Mumbo.  
(BB has left chat)


	2. Damn That Cyborg and his Autocorrect!

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans

BB: Hey Star, can you call mom?  
Star: Who is this ‘mom’? Do you mean friend Raven? She does the reprimanding like a mother, yes?  
BB: …  
Star: Or perhaps you are meaning friend Cyborg who does the mothering of his ‘baby’?  
BB: No, I meant candy fear!  
Star: ???  
BB: Coke harem!  
BB: Ugh…stupid autocorrect…  
Star: Please, what is a coke harem?  
BB: It doesn’t mean anything, Star. Heh. It’s just gibbon.  
Star: What does this have to do with the earthen ass?  
BB: Oh my gosh! Starfire!  
Star: Huh? Did I say something wrong-?  
Star: Eep!  
Star: I did not mean that, friend! I meant ale.  
Star: *App  
Star: *Ape  
BB: By the way, is there any difference between an alien and earthen ass?  
Star: I do not know! Do not ask me! And no, I will not find out for you regardless of the fact that you are my friend!  
BB: Okay okay! Chill, girl! I was just curious.  
Star: I see. So, what did you want to ask me again, friend?  
BB: Oh yeah, it’s fine, I did it. I don’t need your help anymore.  
Star: My help on what?  
BB: Starting a fire. The matchmakers were flirting.  
Star: I…do not understand. Why do you need the matchmakers to start a fire?  
BB: Dash! This thing really has it out for me. What I was trying to say is that the match STICKS are faulty.  
BB: *Damn  
Star: Okay. Why were you trying to start the fire?  
BB: Oh, for nothing. I was bored and wanted to have some fun.  
BB: And to melt Robin’s birdarangs.

 

Sp: Hey, Aqualad! I think I’m addicted to fleas! I just love eating them! They’re so yummy and delicious! I love how they fry them at the shops in Chinatown! So crunchy!  
Aq: Uhh…okay? I so did not need to know that.  
Sp: I don’t understand what you have against them. You don’t know what you’re missing out on!  
Aq: Speedy, no one in their right minds would eat fleas!  
Sp: Hey, hey! Since when did I say that I ate fleece? By the way, ew!  
Aq: I meant fleas, not fleece. You know, the insect that sucks blood from people and animals?  
Sp: I know what a freaking fiesta is!  
Aq: Man, can you even spell?! What is wrong with you?!  
Sp: What wrong with YOU?!  
Aq: Me?! You’re the one misspelling all your words!  
Sp: Did not!  
Aq: Did too!  
Sp: Did not!  
Aq: Did too!  
Sp: Did nooooottttt!!!!  
Aq: Did tooooooooooo!!!!!  
Sp: I DID NOT AND THAT’S FINAL!  
Aq: YOU DID TOO AND IF YOU DON’T BELIEVE ME, WHY DON’T YOU REREAD YOUR MESSAGES?!  
Sp: FINE! I WILL!  
(2 minutes later…)  
Aq: Well? Believe me now?  
Sp: No way…  
Sp: I DID NOT WRITE THIS! I TYPED FISH, NOT FLEAS!  
Aq: See, I told you so.  
Sp: Something’s wrong with this tummy.  
Sp: IT DID IT AGAIN! I TYPED THUMB!  
Sp: *Gingko  
Sp: What? How in the world…thimble*  
Sp: *Think  
Sp: *Thing, damn it!  
Sp: Hah, finally! This communicator is possessed by an alien demon from outer space seeking to take over the world.  
Aq: Yeah yeah…anyway…wait. Hang on.  
Aq: You were eating fish? AGAIN?!  
Sp: Mmm hmmm. I can still taste it. Delicious.  
Aq: You did that on purpose, didn’t you? You trying to turn me against my friends again?!  
Sp: I have no idea what you’re talking about.  
Aq: Speedy, you’d better run.  
Sp: Why?  
Aq: I’m going to shave you bald if it’s the last thing I do! Let’s see how you feel to have something you love ripped away from you!  
Sp: NO! MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR! YOU WILL NOT TOUCH MY BABY!  
Aq: I know where you are, Speedy. You have five minutes while I get my scissors and sheep.  
Aq: *shaver  
Sp: NOOOOO!!!! YOU EVIL MONSTER!!  
(Sp has left chat)  
Aq: Bwa ha ha! Revenge is sweet!

 

Rob: Beast Boy, where on earth are you??? Get your butt over here right now!  
BB: I can’t!  
Rob: What do you mean you can’t?! Cinderblock and Plasmus are running loose in the city! We need your help!  
BB: I’m occupied at the moment!  
Rob: Ugh, you and your fangirls! If you don’t get here in two minutes, I’m giving Cyborg permission to destroy all your tofu!  
BB: U monster!! What have I ever done to u?! My poor beautiful tofu :’(  
Rob: One minute and 30 seconds  
BB: Hey! Stop!  
Rob: One minute and 15 seconds  
BB: I told u, I can’t come!  
Rob: One minute left  
BB: Robin! I’m serious! I had a big emergency!  
Rob: What emergency?! And where on earth are you?!  
BB: I’m in the goblet  
Rob: What?  
BB: *fillet  
BB: Fillet?! Stupid autocorrect  
BB: *stables  
BB: *tablet  
BB: *toilet  
BB: That’s the one!  
Rob: In the toilet doing what? Fixing your ‘oh so wonderful’ hair?!  
BB: That’s you, not me.  
Rob: You’re avoiding the question, Beast Boy.  
BB: I told you, I’m in an emergency.  
Rob: You keep saying that! What kind of emergency?!  
BB: Uh…I’m doing some business.  
Rob: What business?  
BB: I’m expecting, okay?!  
Rob: What expecting? Don’t tell me you’re pregnant…I mean, I know you can change into animals and some of them can change gender…  
BB: DUDE! That is SO wrong! Don’t even go there, Robin! I meant excreting, NOT expecting.  
Rob: What, excreting? What’s that?  
BB: Dude, r u serious? Ur science is horrible! You learn this stuff in middle school! N u’re supposed to be Robin!  
Rob: What are you talking about? Get to the point already!  
BB: Urgh…I’m releasing waste  
Rob: What?  
BB: Duuddee…jhvjhvjhyyez…Oh, fine! I’m shitting!  
Rob: ?  
BB: Big, big shit! Pooping! You know, that thing you do everyday at 8 in the morning? And order you not to disturb you unless it’s the end of the world or Batman calls you?  
Rob: What are you…  
Rob: …  
Rob: Oh.  
Rob: OH.  
BB: Now he gets it.  
Rob: Er, sorry for interrupting. Feel free to join us whenever you’re uh, done?  
BB: Pffttt….yeah, yeah.

 

BB: Hey, Cy! I’ve got some interesting news for you! I was walking around Jump City and I saw this on a signboard.  
Cy: What is it, BB?  
BB: Cow disease and condition content is not a good idea to have a lot of people who are not the only way to get the best way. Vegetables and fruits of the most important thing is that the government of Canada and the other hand.  
BB: Get it? Well, I gotta go. My eager fans await!  
(BB has left chat)  
Cy: Wait, what? What on earth is that green bean trying to tell me? This makes utterly no sense at all!

 

Cy: Jingle bells, Batman smells!  
BB: Robin laid an egg!  
Rob: Excuse me??!!  
Cy: Shush, u’re interrupting our song.  
Rob: What do you mean by ‘Robin laid an egg’???  
BB: Oh, I dunno…that you’re really a robin and can lay eggs and didn’t tell us? I don’t even know how you managed to disguise yourself as a human. And as a male too! Now I know why you always disappear during mating season!  
Rob: BEAST BOY! I AM NOT A ROBIN! AND I’M A PERFECTLY NORMAL ‘MALE’ HUMAN BEING!  
Cy: DENIAL! I guess Star will be upset since u’re not a boy. Oh! So that’s why u never asked her out and always get mad when we call her ur girlfriend!  
Rob: Shut up and go try barking hay.  
Cy: What?  
BB: Y would anyone want to bark at hay?  
Rob: Go to cracking heap*.  
Rob: *Ducking hell!  
Rob: *Duck  
Rob: *Bucky  
Rob: *MUCKING!!  
Rob: HACK THIS STUPID AUTOCORRECT!!!  
BB: Haha…dude, were u trying to swear?  
Rob: Damn right I was! And where the hell did u hear that stupid song?  
Cy: Well…the Joker created it.  
Rob: Right…but only Batman and I were there when he sang it.  
BB: Uh huh. So…  
Rob: So…what?  
Cy: Oh, come on! The answer’s so odorous!  
Cy: *obvious  
BB: Yeah! ONLY you, Batman and Joker dude was there.  
Rob: Well, I know that you guys don’t have any contact with the Joker…  
Rob: Wait…oh, no…  
Rob: NO! HE DID NOT!  
Rob: Please tell me you guys are the only ones who heard this soup.  
Rob: *Song.  
Cy: Us? The only ones? Oh, come on! It’s all over the Hero Network!  
Rob: WHAT?!!  
BB: I really like the part where all your eggs hatched and your chicks were so hungry because you didn’t know how to hunt for them so they fried your father and you had to go crawling back to Batman and find his whale for his backside!  
Rob: That song is the worst-! WHAT?!!  
BB: What what?  
Cy: Uh, BB, I’m pretty sure that wasn’t in the song.  
BB: Of course it was! We sang it together, didn’t we?  
Cy: Please read your sentence again.  
BB: Okaaayy....  
BB: Dudeee!!! Did I write that?!! I meant to say they plucked your feathers and you had to find the Back Master wheel. I don’t understand how autocorrect can change ‘plucked’ into ‘fried’ and the whale thing.  
BB: Wait…I meant Black mule  
BB: *Breakfast  
BB: *Bad microphone  
BB: Grrr….The Bat dude car thingy!  
Cy: I think we better stop now. That mental image was really…um, brain damaging.  
Rob: Tell me about it. I’m going to have nightmares about a whale and gah! I don’t even want to think about how or what Batman would use it for…

 

Star: Friend Raven! I have good news! And bad news too!  
Rae: Okay.  
Star: Do you want to know what is it about?  
Rae: No. Not really.  
Star: But Friend Raven! You promised to have the girl talk today!   
Rae: Oh, fine. Get on with it then.  
Star: Robin tried to kill me today!  
Rae: What? Really?!  
Star: Yes! He was sea romping! At first I didn’t know that he was going to do that. But then suddenly he put his hands around my neck and then…eeeee!!!  
Rae: He tried to straighten you?! Oh Azar! How could he do something like that?!  
Star: Straighten? But I am already straight! Is not everyone on the team straight? Well actually, I sometimes am unsure if Robin is straight or not. He never seems interested in girls…  
Rae: Urgh! I said stripped!  
Rae: That…I can’t believe I wrote that! Damn that Cyborg! *Street angle  
Rae: *Strangle  
Star: Strangle?  
Rae: He was trying to strangle you, wasn’t he?  
Star: Who?  
Rae: Robin, of course!  
Star: What? No! Of course not! Robin would never do something like that!  
Rae: Starfire...you just told me…  
Star: Well any the way, Robin stopped and his face leech licked a lobster and he pretended to trip, but he lost his balance and fell into the sea!  
Rae: Starfire. I. Didn’t. Get. A. Word. You. Said. First, you said Robin tried to kill you. Then you said he was sea romping for some reason and then tried to strangle you. And then his face leech licked a lobster?! And fell into the sea? What in the name of Azar are you trying to say?!  
Star: Oh, I…but…Robin? He did not…  
Star: Oh damn the autocorrect! I did not say that!  
Star: He was trying to piss me, not kill me! And he was not doing the sea romping. I said he was so romance.  
Star: *kiss. Romantic.  
Rae: Okayyy…that makes so much more sense. But what is that thing with the lobster?!  
Star: Oh...his face looked like a lobster.  
Rae: You could’ve just said his face went red. So then he took a dip in the sea?  
Star: Yes! I was so disappointed. I tried to ask him later about the ‘almost kiss’, but he pretended he did not know anything about it. So I did not tell him about the ‘waste’ in his hair. I will await his scream later…  
Rae: What waste?  
Star: It looked like feces. It was quite foul smelling. I am surprised he did not notice it.  
Rae: Probably because he smells as bad as it.


End file.
